Without the pressure to speak amongst others, it became clear that I often said things out of anxiety - fear of looking weird or of making the other person uncomfortable.
Nowadays I rarely speak when I feel that pressure and paradoxically it has led to far deeper relationships and more interesting conversations.
It seems that the topics that come up when theres a pressure to fill the silence are the most mundane. Deeper connection seems to happen in the silences, or rather mutual comfort with silence.
Another way I could describe it is it feels almost as if there’s a fear of really being seen in silence that the surface level conversation manages to keep at bay.
I can't go probably 100 words without saying something stupid or flat out contradictory. I'll think back to the conversation, realize I don't actually think or believe what I said, and wonder just what possessed me to say that and how many people I've alienated with words that I don't even believe or hold to be true!
Silence is one way to avoid making those mistakes, but that's me avoiding the problem, not actually solving it (and it would be nice to speak all the time in truth, with coherence, and consistent with what I believe), despite not having much to say in the first place, unless:
- to clear misunderstanding / requests ("Excuse me, but I think this is my seat.")
- to prevent harm / danger ("Look out!")
- civics / politeness ("Excuse me", "Good morning", "I'm fine, thank you.")
Sort of like how some folks say 'everyone should meditate.' Maybe that worked for them and the issues they had, and that is brilliant, but lots of people don't have that problem or that response doesn't fit them.
There have groans, feuds and aggressiveness towards me for asking for peace. I'm not unreasonable. If you wish to have a party, do it adult without DJs blaring till 3am.
Most of the time, it's that they didn't realise. But it's had aggressive moments where it's turned to "It's my apartment ..."; and I get it. Folk don't like being told to show consideration for their neighbours and only when the noise effects them do they realise how disrupting noise is.
The courtyard too has seagulls and at 5am it turns in to a hellish frenzy. So luckily this has taught folk a lot about how peaceful quiet actually is and on cases have made others move out.
And too the courtyard faces the back of a couple of restaurants which are were the exhaust fans for their ovens stand. What I presume is due to lack of calibration as these whirl sometimes up until 2am even though their restaurants close at 11pm. You can really feel the level of atmospheric vibration drop when they shut off. It's a sigh of relief when they do.
I've plead, and the local council is useless so I have put up with it. 3am is really the only time I can actually relax my ears in to a slumber because having hyper audio sensory really sucks.
Peace is nice and I wish others would value it more. But with peace, folk don't know what to do. It scares them at first because it's rare to encounter in this day and age.
If people want to live in a shoebox surrounded by thousands of other people in a shoebox, I wont stop them but I"m not going to normalize it either.
What I presume is that the cool down is on a uncalibrated timing like unfair traffic lights but you can't really demonstrate this as they just shrug and tell you it's not their problem.
Odd that it’s on HN front page :-/
Disabling first party JS works too, using umatrix or similar tools. The site works perfectly without JS.
Edit: because of all of that, of course view source bypasses the paywall too and reveals tons of inlined CSS.
Thank you!! I had no idea, and this is such an elegant fix.
I agree with you though, it's obnoxious to share paywalled articles on Hacker News.
We can do without mean words like “obnoxious” for people contributing interesting articles for the community to read.
HN sometimes likes to discuss texts that weren't published as a free contribution on some blog by a dev with lots of time on their hand.
It's not forbidden to post paywalled links on HN, AFAIK.
I also struggle to see an alternative when it comes to professional journalism.
Maybe a kind soul will be able to share a gift link.
> It's not forbidden to post paywalled links on HN, AFAIK.
The FAQ states that it's fine to post paywalled links as long as there is a workaround that everyone can easily access.